How to be alone [video]

Five million people have already seen this… I watched it for the first time today.

How to be alone:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=k7X7sZzSXYs

I should make an intelligent comment about it, or quote my favourite few lines. But all I can say is that it made me cry. I’ve had a crappy weekend – week, really. I’ve been socially awkward, unable to contribute to conversations; my speech paralysed by not knowing what to say, not having a funny or witty comment, not having an anecdote to share. By wondering what impression I’m making, and then it’s a vicious circle as saying nothing seems better than having my words met with slightly confused stares and the less I say the harder it is to come up with words.

I’m torn up about a comment I made to a close friend – something stupid and thoughtless and unintentionally hurtful. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say it… well, I did and now I regret it and I apologised and took it back, but still feel like a Bad Person.

Jarring with everyone, I feel entirely isolated, unlovable, misunderstood, mediocre and defeated.

Next week will be better. It has to be.

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