One of my best friends just had a beautiful baby girl, and two others announced their pregnancies in the last week. I on the other hand am keeping my legs firmly crossed!
I’ve been Googling ‘just not interested in having children’ to reassure myself I’m not the only one out there. Because as excited and happy as I am for these friends, and as beautiful as the baby girl is, I still have NO interest in having children of my own. None. Not even a twinge.
I burst into tears when I heard my friend’s daughter had arrived. It is an emotional, joyous occasion. Then I checked myself: Do I have any pangs that I wish it was me? Do I have even a hint of curiosity, wondering what it might be like if it was mine? Searching… searching… no. Nothing. Zip, zero, nada.
While I do get very envious when I see engagement announcements on Facebook and get all dreamy over friends’ wedding photos, babies just don’t have the same effect. I am definitely missing a biological clock and you know what? I am totally OK with that. I have a nephew, nieces, godchildren and friends’ children in my life who I love spending time with. But perhaps even more I love giving them back to their parents and going home to my quiet, tidy, stress-free home. And to my cat, who I love to bits (it’s mutual, judging by his cuddles).
No, it won’t change when I meet ‘The One’. No, I really don’t think the clock will start ticking eventually (I’m less than a year away from no longer being a thirtysomething and it’s not happened yet). Most of my friends and family know that’s just how I am and have accepted it but every now and then I get a comment like ‘Oh but you’re such a good mom to your cat – you’d be amazing with children’. I just grit my teeth and smile.
I think I’ll have to spend some time with my happily childfree friends this weekend to balance this last week out.