I wish all of you much happiness, fun and love in 2011.

xx A

What if they are pretty good friends of yours, who would be really hurt by your unfollow?

Surely nobody can be THAT cheerful ALL the time?

Or maybe I’m just grumpy… But seriously… just one #FML tweet, please, to show us you’re human…

Just barely hanging in there at the moment, I have to work really hard not to snap and lose patience. I’m trying to plough through my last few projects to get then wrapped up before the break, and when they don’t go smoothly, or a client calls with ‘just one more little thing’, I want to scream. I have one client who is very demanding and changes his brief all the time – but then doesn’t want to pay more, and when we do deliver excellent work, we never get thanked for it. We bend over backwards for him and it goes completely unappreciated. I did consider sacking him earlier this year but we actually learn tons from working with him, so he’s worth it. But it’s hard when I’m tired and impatient.

Having not had a vacation since last October, I’m in desperate need of a break. Wednesday is my last day in the office until the New Year – hooray! Three weeks of no email, no clients, no demands. The hardest thing will be to switch my brain out of work mode and just leave it all behind. I’m off on another Arabian adventure and can’t wait to be thousands of miles from my desk!

So here’s to the final push! Good luck to all of you who are in my position – hope you get everything done without yelling at your clients/colleagues/suppliers and that you too will get to enjoy a relaxing, rejuvenating Christmas break.

Examples:

• A friend’s late 30-something colleague has just bought himself a Porsche. He reckons it will make him more attractive ‘to the ladies’ but is already calculating what he’ll be able to sell it for when he needs to get a SUV to cart the kids around in.
• Another single male friend just bought a very nice, sporty, quite flashy car and was agonising over whether to get the silver or white colourway as he tried to work out ‘what he wanted the car to say about him’.
• And yet another single guy I know bought a very nice but not cheap sporty coupe, brand new. He’s been single for a while and has always had stunningly gorgeous girlfriends. They, and his new car, intimidate the hell out of me!

It does make me wonder what kinds of women would be attracted to these guys because of their expensive cars. Can you say ‘high maintenance gold digger’?! Which is probably not the kind of women these three are hoping to attract. (I should add that attracting women is not the sole reason they’ve bought these cars – pure enjoyment and the ‘because I can’ factor played large parts too!)

And this is not to say that my attached male friends drive clapped out old bangers. But in a funny way, the cars they drive kind of ‘match’ their wives/girlfriends.

Do you think my theory has some merit? And what about the other way around: what does a woman’s car say about the man she’s looking for? (Hmm, I think I need to upgrade!)

Yesterday I discovered that Ze has spoken at TED twice (see here and here - yes, I am very behind the times!). The second talk ends with the most beautiful music composition – which is just whay you  need if you’re feeling overwhelmed, sad, impatient or confused.

Ze Frank’s chillout song.

Go and check out the song’s back story too.

Definitely taking the day off work (it falls on a weekday this year) so I’m thinking a bit of a lie-in, followed by breakfast at my favourite coffee-and-croissant place… then maybe a morning movie followed by lunch with whichever friends can meet me… and maybe a pedicure or some other form of pampering in the afternoon, a little retail therapy (must get myself a birthday present after all!) and then dinner with my family.

How would you plan for your perfect birthday, assuming it’s all about YOU and doing things to treat yourself?

Having not had a vacation since last October, I can’t wait. I love going to interesting places which are different from my usual environment. (Preferably ones that include lots of markets and haggling. I am one great haggler.) Being in a completely different environment is what restores my perspective and refreshes me and because I’ve worked so very, very hard this year, my priority is to reward myself and do something that will rejuvenate me.

There were tentative discussions a few months ago about a big family Christmas, particularly as it will be my new niece’s first. Proud auntie that I am, and bursting with excitement when she arrived a few weeks ago, I seriously toyed with the idea of just putting an airline ticket on my newly-paid-off credit card (*smug smile*) and surprising them with a visit. But financial sense and an overwhelming workload put paid to that idea.

Now that I’ve made my own plans for Christmas, I am not popular. Never mind that I’ve not had a holiday at all in over a year. Or that considering I need to keep out of the sun, it’s only time of year that Egypt is feasible for me. Never mind that I wangled a work trip to the UK in March so I could visit my brother, SIL and nephew. Or that when our entire family is together, there’s always drama and tears (‘family holiday’ is an oxymoron). Or that they will all be here next Easter anyway. And much as I’d love to meet her, at less than 4 months old, Baby Niece won’t register if I’m there or not for Christmas anyway (my nephew would, and I am very sad that he doesn’t live around the corner so I can see him all the time, because he is AWESOME).

My Mum mentioned that my brother is worried that I’ll be on my own and ‘not even in a Christian country’ for Christmas. I won’t be on my own – I’ll be with a small tour group (and even if I wasn’t, I’m pretty good at making friends on the road). And I suspect the hotel we’re staying at on Christmas Day will lay something on for its Western tourists. Even if it doesn’t, I’m sure it will be memorable! This is the first time in my entire life that I’ve not spent Christmas with my family – I think just once isn’t a terrible offence, is it?

On top of this, I’m looking to change my car at the moment, and that, plus another flippant comment on Facebook about buying something expensive (it was a joke), had my brother reacting with ‘Or you could get your priorities right and come and visit your niece.’ Ummm…

How do I get past the GUILT that I should spend money that I don’t have to go and see my family?! At what stage does duty and obligation supersede what I want to do? Am I a Horribly Selfish Bitch Single Girl?

Aaaargh.

I made peace with the situation eventually. And am fortunate to have plenty of other friends who are fun, loyal, supportive, encouraging and positive influences.

Recently I was invited to an event which Friend A would also be attending. I was a bit apprehensive about seeing her as this would be the first time we’d be in the same room with a small group of people for any period of time. I don’t particularly want to ressurect the friendship, but was OK with being cordial to her. Well, when she arrived, she wouldn’t even make eye contact so that I could greet her. She avoided me all night. I tried – honestly. But no – nothing from her side. And I see we’re no longer (limited) Facebook friends. *chuckle* Oh well, so be it.

I didn’t exactly study her but (without going into details) the impression I got was that she’s not all that happy. And instead of feeling smug, I feel concerned for her. What?! This is someone who was one of my best friends – who then cut me off cold. Instead of gloating ‘karma’s a bitch, isn’t she?’, I feel concerned. What’s with that?? But I do. Because even though we’re not friends anymore, I don’t wish either of them any ill, nor have I ever said anything nasty about them, despite our falling out. Whatever our differences, I wish only happiness, contentment and fulfilment for both Friend A and Friend B.

To Friend B’s credit, she has made several small attempts at reaching out to me over the years – although I also heard she’d said some unfounded and mean things about me too which made me question her motives. But she actually sent me a big olive branch via email this week. It seemed genuine and I appreciated it.

Isn’t it interesting how different people handle this sort of thing… and how we can surprise ourselves sometimes?

That’s me, right now. And it’s time to find the fun again. I can be silly. I like being silly! I love to laugh, to tease my friends, to banter and flirt, to let my hair down.

How do you find fun in your daily life? I mean everyday things, not big ones like going to an amusement park. Like playing cheesy songs really loudly and singing your heart out to them. Running around your garden like a nutter with your pets.  That sort of thing.

Ideas, please! All work and no play stops here.

Anyway, when I am really busy with work, being single sucks. Yes, it’s one of the times I wish I did have someone else around. Why? To help out with the other, “life” stuff that’s just not getting done. Like laundry. Like taking the faulty electric toothbrush I bought three weeks ago back for a refund. Like taking my netbook in for repairs. Like cooking me dinner (have had breakfast for dinner a few times too many recently – cereal’s so easy…!). Or taking my cat to the vet for me so I don’t have to reschedule a ton of meetings (kitty does come ahead of meetings though, in case you were wondering). And someone to get me out of my work-mode head and force me to take a break, even for an hour.

Sometimes having to do everything yourself is pretty exhausting.