Online dating turn-offs #1: I only date white/black/purple people

I mentioned a while back that I’d decided to give online dating another go. My heart hasn’t really been in it and I’ve yet to connect with anyone interesting. But browing through my (somewhat dull) matches last night, I got thinking about the things in people’s profiles that are automatic turn-offs.

When I see someone has specified just one race as ‘non-negotiable’ on their ideal match criteria, it makes me wonder whether they’re maybe a little racist. Are they, or are they just sticking to ‘what they know’ (which in itself is rather closed-minded)?

Surely it doesn’t matter what race your soulmate is? Doesn’t that ‘oh my, he’s amazing, I think I’m falling for him’ feeling supersede skin colour?

For me, race does not matter if there’s an attraction and connection. It’s about shared values, interests, backgrounds/education and outlooks.

I was so nervous for my very first actually-meeting-in-real-life internet date. The guy looked great on paper (screen?), had sounded nice on the phone but when I got to the bar, I didn’t even recognise him from his photos. And he had a very different idea of what six foot tall means than the rest of us do. But worst of all were his comments about inter-racial dating (“birds and bees don’t *&#$, do they?” <– what?!). I think he wrote me off immediately when he learned that I have dated outside my race and would be quite happy to do so again. Not that him writing me off bothered me one bit. I left the bar that night thinking ‘I was nervous about impressing THAT?!’

Stay tuned for Online Dating Turn-offs #2 and more… there are quite a few!


3 thoughts on “Online dating turn-offs #1: I only date white/black/purple people

  1. Interesting post! I wouldn’t consider myself racist or close-minded…

    As someone who’s never dated outside of my race (not by choice, but by who has approached me), I would probably select one ethnicity when online dating, just because it is what I am used too, but I wouldn’t be opposed to matches from other ethnicities and cultures.

  2. Ick, what a loser he was!

    My first online date in-person also had a height-perception problem. He stated he was 5 foot 6 (my height) in his profile, but I towered over him by at least 2 inches. Ugh!

    As for the racial thing on the profiles… I think most people aren’t necessarily racist, but perhaps generally not attracted to people from other races. Seems a bit silly to exclude everyone from the get-go, but perhaps they are just trying to be efficient.

    And others may have racist parents who will disown them if they marry outside their race or religion. Unfortunately, this still happens…

    Love your blog!!

  3. @singleandalmost30 Interesting… I wonder whether maybe I read too much into it? On the dating site I’m on, you can specify how important a criterion is – it’s when people say that a race is ‘non-negotiable’ (as opposed to, say, ‘moderately important’) that I begin to wonder…

    @Sam Height perception problem! LOL!!!

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