Not the reaction I’d expected

Almost two years ago I had a falling out with two of my closest friends (let’s call them Friend A and Friend B). At the time I was very hurt and confused – particularly because I didn’t understand what had happened, and neither was willing to discuss it. The whole episode was very upsetting and to this day, it is unresolved.

I made peace with the situation eventually. And am fortunate to have plenty of other friends who are fun, loyal, supportive, encouraging and positive influences.

Recently I was invited to an event which Friend A would also be attending. I was a bit apprehensive about seeing her as this would be the first time we’d be in the same room with a small group of people for any period of time. I don’t particularly want to ressurect the friendship, but was OK with being cordial to her. Well, when she arrived, she wouldn’t even make eye contact so that I could greet her. She avoided me all night. I tried – honestly. But no – nothing from her side. And I see we’re no longer (limited) Facebook friends. *chuckle* Oh well, so be it.

I didn’t exactly study her but (without going into details) the impression I got was that she’s not all that happy. And instead of feeling smug, I feel concerned for her. What?! This is someone who was one of my best friends – who then cut me off cold. Instead of gloating ‘karma’s a bitch, isn’t she?’, I feel concerned. What’s with that?? But I do. Because even though we’re not friends anymore, I don’t wish either of them any ill, nor have I ever said anything nasty about them, despite our falling out. Whatever our differences, I wish only happiness, contentment and fulfilment for both Friend A and Friend B.

To Friend B’s credit, she has made several small attempts at reaching out to me over the years – although I also heard she’d said some unfounded and mean things about me too which made me question her motives. But she actually sent me a big olive branch via email this week. It seemed genuine and I appreciated it.

Isn’t it interesting how different people handle this sort of thing… and how we can surprise ourselves sometimes?

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3 thoughts on “Not the reaction I’d expected

  1. Why are people so confusing? When people are hot and cold like that, I tend to step back and detach. Personally, people that play with my emotions are not worth my time or my mental health. I believe in forgiving people and giving them second chances, but some people are just purely unstable, have issues, or are just bad apples. If I can’t trust someone or am constantly hurt by someone, I have learned that it is best to move on with your life and find people that can give you what you need. My opinion is that people that act “nice” but turn around and act shady probably have some kind of ulterior motive for being “nice.”

    Of course, there are exceptions. Some people are capable of changing, and sometimes miscommunications/judgments destroy friendships. However, a pattern of negative reactions should be a signal that the friendship isn’t working.

  2. Hi Reeny – wish I knew how to step back and detach! I have learnt (the hard way) that friends do come and go, and are in your life for a season and a reason. I have also learnt that toxic friendships do exist and should be avoided.

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