Not the reaction I’d expected

Almost two years ago I had a falling out with two of my closest friends (let’s call them Friend A and Friend B). At the time I was very hurt and confused – particularly because I didn’t understand what had happened, and neither was willing to discuss it. The whole episode was very upsetting and to this day, it is unresolved. Continue reading

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Recipe for conflict

Ingredients:

  • 3 single, independent, strong-willed (stubborn? ๐Ÿ™‚ ) 30-something women
  • 7 day trip up the coast
  • 9,587,348,972 different interests
  • 2 x roosters and a hen who start their dawn welcome at 4am

Method

  • Mix all ingredients together well.

I’ve known Friend B for fifteen years and Friend A for about seven. They are two of my closest friends and they’ve known each other for around five years, through me. The three of us have lived on our own for quite a while; we’re all pretty independent and we know what we like and want. We are also quite different people, with differing interests. One of mine is sleeping in late during the holidays – a plan that was pretty stymied by our feathered neighbours*.

I’ve travelled with both of them (the girls, not the chickens) before and had no reservations about doing so again. So it was a bit of a surprise when we had some tension – although perhaps a little conflict was inevitable – on our trip last week. It ranged from going in super-tolerant ‘I don’t mind what we do – what do YOU want to do?’ circles to a little bossiness, thoughtless comments and (probably unintentional) obvious impatience.

Added to this, I had the worst PMS I’ve had in years, which makes me tearful, neurotic and pathetic. My two friends, who are lucky enough not to suffer from it, couldn’t understand that it was just the hormones talking and instead practically diagnosed depression and advised me to see a therapist. A little over-reactive, I thought.

Anyway, I’m home again now and loving the peace and tranquility of my own space, but a little sad that the perfect holiday I’d hoped for was a little fraught.

* The chickens were actually very funny. The roosters had the most comical wannabe crows ever (forget cock-a-doodle-do…) – accompanied by what could only be described as a ‘constipated look’.

One reason being single over the holidays sucks

Because when there are family feuds (and what holiday doesn’t have them?) it can feel like you against the rest of the world.

The couples in my family (Mum and Dad, my brother and sister-in-law) are extremely loyal to each other and believe that presenting a united front in public is very important.

So the chances of me persuading any one of them to agree with me in a dispute are zero if it means that they will have to break their matrimonial alliance, even if secretly one of them thinks I’m right.

The result? I end up feeling very frustrated and lonely, wishing I had someone to fight my corner with me. Doesn’t mean I don’t WIN though… I’m pretty stubborn if I believe I’m in the rightย  ๐Ÿ˜‰

But then I call my single friends, arrange lunch for tomorrow and all’s right in the world again ๐Ÿ™‚