Wanted: A man who will be my companion and my friend. Who will love me and stand by me. Who will fight my corner. A man who will be there for me as I get older, who will help me deal with losses and help me feel that I’m not alone. And I will do the same for him. We’ll have our own interests and often go and do our own things, but we’ll enjoy meeting for dinner and telling stories about our days – at home, and in far-flung exotic places.
I don’t expect fireworks and violins. We don’t even need to have a swing-from-the-chandeliers sex life… I’d be happy with cuddles and kisses on the couch. I need my independence, but I also need kindness, intelligent conversation and warm, tight, full-body hugs – often. Where are you, Mr?
I got an email from a new guy on the dating site yesterday. I replied the same day and have had another one from him today. And they are both just lovely messages.
No grovelling or hero-worshipping of me involved 😉 but rather he comes across as thoughtful, gentle, intelligent and charming. Charming in a nice, old-fashioned kind of way. Not in a Bill Clinton way. 😀
He’s shown interest in me and has volunteered just the right level of information about himself. He’s paid attention to my profile and responded in a curious way to a few openers I dropped into my reply to him. He’s shown a hint of humour and yes, he can write in full sentences (admittedly not 100% perfect, but I’m learning to let that go a little!).
And he asked me a very interesting ‘If you could…’ question. Which I’ve not yet found the perfect answer to but it has been in the back of my mind all day. Clever man… subtlely getting me to think about him… heh heh.
Oh and he’s reeeeally tall and it looks like he has very nice teeth 😉
Watch this space.
As I promised to put a positive spin on my internet dating experiences and talk about online dating turn-0ns, rather than turn-offs, I’ll do my best to flip this one on its head.
So I-dated-someone-you-know Boy and I have exchanged a few more emails but to be honest, I’m getting a bit bored already. Which doesn’t bode well. The last three emails from him have been a little pedestrian. And in them he has not asked me ONE question about me. So my guess would be he’s not very interested in me, and as a result, I’m not in him either.
So where’s that positive spin? Oh yes: A tip for the boys: If you want to get her attention and get her interested in you, ask her questions about her life, interests, pastimes, dreams, etc., etc. Make the questions original and you’ll score extra points. Not just ‘so what do you do for fun?’. Yawn.
Find things on her profile that make her different and ask about those. Show her that you find her interesting (and for heaven’s sake, be sincere about it or move on) and she will be flattered and find you increasingly interesting in return.
In my newly-found spirit of two-thousand-and-zen and positive thinking, I’ve decided to discontinue my ‘online dating turn-offs’ series and give it a positive spin. Enter ‘online dating turn-ONs’.
What will get my attention every time is a profile that’s been well-written. Full sentences, no text-speak (“u r gr8”), proper punctuation (“u r gr8!!!!!!!!1!!”), and intelligent words that actually give an insight into the person who has written them.
Yes, a correctly-placed apostrophe will really get my ovaries humming. Throw in a clever pun or two, and I’m yours.
Sadly, profiles like this are the exceptions rather than the rule – amongst the guys I’ve checked out online anyway. But when I stumble upon one, it’s like finding buried treasure. I read it and reread it. Then I go look at some other profiles but always come back to read Mr Writer’s one again. Balm to my eyes. OK, that was a bit of a dodgy analogy… nobody puts balm in their eyes… but you get the point.
Hell, I’ll even overlook age, height and all sorts of things that are usually non-negotiables and click that little ‘Favourite him’ button.
Yes, guys, women really ARE easy. All you’ve got to do is make a little effort – with your profile, your appearance, how you treat us. A well-written profile WILL make you stand out from the crowd.
Are women just as bad with their language usage, or is it a guy thing?