Missing the ‘oooh, cute baby!’ gene

Please tell me someone else is with me on this.

I think baby animals are just gorgeous. Puppies with fat little tummies, tripping over their oversized paws. Kittens with their you’ll-grow-into-them-one-day ears and squeaky mews. Baby bunnies, newborn foals, fuzzy bear cubs – who doesn’t squee a little when they see them?

So why don’t I feel the same way about baby humans? Why don’t Anne Geddes photos* have the same effect on me? Is it the lack of fur? Is it the constant crying? Inability to sleep through the night? Is it – on a deeper level – their utter helplessness? I can see why people DO find babies cute – in the same way I can appreciate that Brad Pitt is good-looking, although I don’t fancy him myself. I must be missing a gene somewhere. Give me a kitten any day…

*Note how often Anne dresses babies up as… baby animals! Bunny ears, anyone?

76 thoughts on “Missing the ‘oooh, cute baby!’ gene

  1. Oh god tell me about it! Maybe it is the unconscious understanding of all the work and sleepless nights they entail!

    One of my friends who became a father a few years back and wasn’t really interested in kids said, “Yeah it’s just a crying screaming pooing blob. What fun is that?”. A few years later he said, “It’s not so bad now, he is old enough for me to try and teach him programming, so it’s a bit more fun now!”

    Personally I’m not interested in having kids, perhaps a bit selfish (although why do we have to have kids? Not as if there is a shortage of people huh?). I wouldn’t mind a kid if it was only a few hours a day where I could em-part my wisdom on them! πŸ™‚

    I have been told it is different when it is a child of your own, but I think that may be a case of well you are in the shit now, deal with it. After all there is no return before 28 days clause; I’d suspect your wife wouldn’t be happy with their husband trying to return the product πŸ˜›

  2. I’m with you. And that doesn’t make me selfish or rotten. I’m more of a ‘roll my eyes at yet ANOTHER profile picture of the new baby’ kind of gal than an ‘ooh cute baby’ person.

    I’m sure it will be different if it were my own child, but I’m with Mark-there are enough babies and people in this world. I don’t want to bring in another possibly ugly, definitely messy human into this already messy world right now. That is the *least* selfish thing we singletons can do!

  3. First, not all babies are cute. Period.

    Second, you’re not missing anything, girl. I often get in the mood where I look at a baby and can look RIGHT past it, and not even have an urge or an ounce of thought to go “awwww” because you know what? It’s not mine, I don;t care, and I DON’T HAVE TO.

  4. I’ve never been a gushing-over-babies person. I’ve had three of my own, and have become quite attached to them. Of course, the youngest will be forty next month. I did have a “moment” when I saw one of my grandchildren (I won’t say which one, because I have five). But that was more of a recognition-of-my-own-flesh-and-blood moment, than a “gooey” one.

    Other people’s babies can be very beautiful, just like adults. (I have sometimes been caught, very embarrassingly, staring at beautiful adults – both men and women – in pure admiration of their beauty. It has happened a few times with babies, but they are very few and far between.)

    On the other hand, small, furry creatures (with the possible exception of rodents) make me melt and start doing and saying the weirdest things. I even love big, furry creatures, too, especially big cats, although they usually need some serious treatment for halitosis. But aren’t they just simply gorgeous to look at?

  5. Well I’m glad there are some women out there not desperate to pop one or more out! Around where I live it seems they are all desperate to join the “Pramland” fraternity. Maybe it is like a fashion craze; my best friends all have designer handbags so I need one to match!

    As for cute animals, check out this cute kitten:

    (youtube suprised kitty original)


  6. I am with all of you 100%…..and I don’t fancy Brad Pitt either πŸ™‚

    I find it annoying when friends show you baby pictures of their niece, nephew, etc. and ask you, “Isn’t he/she adorable?” I always have to let out a fake “awww….he/she is so cute.” I don’t really like children, and don’t find all babies to be cute. I’m not very maternal when it comes to babies, but when it comes to cute animals, I can’t help but get gooey over them.

    It seems that many men out there are 100% sure about wanting to have kids, even if they are still in their bachelor phase. I’m not saying that I do NOT want to have kids one day, but my clock isn’t ticking at all today. Maybe one day my clock will start ticking, but right now I can’t promise any guy that I absolutely want to have kids. Most female friends of mine want to have kids so they are rushing to find “the one” before they get too old to have kids. At almost 30 years old, it seems that I’m a minority when it comes to wanting to settling down, having kids. I think I’m still young, but find that I have nothing in common with people my age.

  7. I forgot to mention Brad Pitt – not my style, either. Not even George Clooney. Never has been. I’ve never been able to understand what all the fuss is about. I always thought that it was because I’m not American. While I’m on the subject, Sean Connery never did a thing for me – especially as James Bond. However, I admire him as an actor in the things that he has done in his later years. The same can be said of George Clooney. But Brad Pitt has yet to impress me as an actor.

  8. Oh maybe this is the place I can find that woman of my dreams who doesn’t want to become a baby factory! πŸ˜€

  9. Yay! I am not alone in this πŸ™‚ An interesting angle is the ‘selfishness’ argument – I’m going to do a post on that soon.

    @Laur – Sometimes I tell people I’m not going to have kids to make up for people who have more than 2. I also wonder why more people don’t adopt – there are so many children who exist already who need love.
    @Skygurl – Hear hear! Wouldn’t it be so much more fun if we could honestly say what we’re really thinking?
    @Reeny – I never say I’ll NEVER have kids – who knows what’s around the corner, but the point is there’s no RUSH, is there?
    @Marilyn – you make me laugh, as always πŸ™‚ I agree re Sean Connery too.
    @Mark – Baby factory – ugh! Stick around here – there are lots of us to whom that’s a very unattractive idea!

  10. i must have been born with out the babies arfe cute gene as well……i think they are so ugly! and when i tell other women this the most common response is…”oh. honey you will think they are cute when you have one” but what if i don’t, its not like you can send it back!

  11. I’m exactly the same, I think babies are ugly on the whole and the idea of pregnancy to me isn’t like a miracle at all, it kind of seems like having a parasite if I’m honest.

    Just yesterday I was sat in a sexual health clinic (to get the contraceptive pill) and the walls were plastered with photos of babies and pregnant women. It bloody terrified me. the pain, the discomfort, the sleepless nights, the work. NO THANKS.

  12. You’re certainly not alone.

    Personally, as a 27 year old female I have never, ever found human babies the least bit desirable, attractive or cute. And I really never expect to.

    For me, I don’t think it’s anything to do with sleepless nights or the harrowing, shrieking noise. I think if you love someone or something none of that matters. As horrible and anti-social as it may sound, I tend to think of babies as just another person, like you might see in the high street, waiting to become just another vain, arrogant, self-centred, greedy, weak, intolerant, sadistic human being.

    They are a bit ugly and I’m not sure where or how people see the cuteness. Show me a fox cub or a little dormouse or even a little frog or newly-hatched gecko with their little spread-out toes and I see adorable cuteness. But not babies.

    And yes. Those Anne Geddes photographs are very, very creepy.

  13. love baby animals just want to squeeze them, but side from my my own child I do not have a maternal or nurturing bone in my body, so no I do not think babies are at all cute. (infact all new borns lok the same to me)

  14. OK, I am laughing because here at work today EVERYONE is cooing over a baby, so I hid and googled “why don’t I think babies are cute?” and I got this blog!! So I am with you there. I just don’t get it. I’m an almost 37-year-old heterosexual female and seeing a baby human does absolutely nothing for me. Now, I could scoop up cute little kittens all day long, however. Also, Brad Pitt, I don’t see what the big deal is either LOL.

  15. I thought I was the only person that thought babies didn’t look cute. Every time a person wants to show me a picture of one or something, I think to myself oh my gosh I just don’t see it! Let’s just go along and make fake ‘awww’ noises so I’m not thought of as weird. One time I was actually accused of hating babies for this very reason. It confuses me as to why most adult humans find babies cute, and it also ticks me off how people like myself are seen as people that have it out for them of something.

  16. Omg amen!!!!! Kids r not cute!!!!! Stuck here now with one……. Is it a requirement to have one?

  17. Just googled “don’t find babies cute” and was led here. Have never ever ONCE thought babies were cute. Not newborns, not 1-year-olds, not even small children. LOVE animals. Babies? Not so much.
    My brother’s wife just had a baby and I’m constantly having to feign interest and politely go “awwww” even though I couldn’t really care less.

    I’ve also never understood why it’s considered selfish to abstain from having children. I’ve always thought it’s the exact opposite! The world does NOT need more babies, especially when so many children already need families. And I don’t know, isn’t kind of egotistical to think, “man, the world could really use another little me running around”?

  18. Sarah, you’re not alone! This is actually one of the most popular posts on my blog… it gets me a ton of traffic πŸ™‚ Baby kittens, puppies, bears… you name it, the little animals are cute but little humans… not so much πŸ˜‰

  19. I’m so glad others also don’t find babies adorable! I’ve never really liked babies, and never grew up around them being the youngest in my family. I have two young nieces, and though I love them as my family i just don’t find them adorable or feel the need to coddle, baby talk, and do that super happy act while playing or watching TV with them.
    My family seems greatly put off by this and always shove babies in my face, having me hold them and telling me to talk to them then get upset when i talk normally (everyone does that high pitched baby talk). I just can’t make myself act and talk dumb no matter how much my parents try and get me to haha! Oh well, maybe they’ll learn in another 10 years or so that I’m not having children no matter how much they want me to xD
    And yeah, i know that feeling of others showing pictures of their babies and you have to act like you think its adorable and d’awwww over it. I swear people take waayyy too many pictures of their kids, do we really need 5+ pictures a day on facebook?
    This has made me feel much better now that i know I’m not the only girl who feels this way!

  20. I still love this thread and reading everyone’s comments–every time one of us googles ‘babies are cute’ we get directed here–so good to know I’m not alone πŸ˜€

  21. Hey Maddi and Lisa – you are definitely not alone! This is on of the most popular posts on my blog and I find that very reassuring πŸ˜‰

  22. Ha ha just a moment ago a coworker showed me a magazine cover of a baby with a retriever. When she gushed over the cute baby legs and arms…I actually said, “Oh, I was too busy looking at the cute dog!”

    No kids for me — never had a desire to have ’em, at age 10, age 25, age 35 or now. (I didn’t even play w/dolls — preferred my stuffed animals. Hmm!)

  23. I feel the same. I just don’t see what people find cute about human babies.

    I find kittens and other baby animals super cute though – the fuzzy little faces and unfocussed little eyes really get me….
    Babies just look blobby, fat, and ill-formed to me – I can’t find them cute at all =S Actually I find them quite repulsive…

    Which is bad because I’m a woman and expected to gush over my friends and family’s babies and *shudder* HOLD them (ugh… I’d rather pick up a spider…).

    I’m sure if I had a kid myself I’d love it to bits but I still can’t find other people’s babies cute…
    Kinda like how I couldn’t stand dogs before I got a dog myself… maybe?

  24. I feel the samr exact way and I have a baby. I had her 8 months ago and let me tell you those feelings dont change once you have one. She has always been beautiful but I never looked at her and melted. Now that shes 8 months old she looks different and shes so cute but I still feel icky about her. My husband does most the work with her. I feel terrible even talking about this but I googled not liking babiea thia came up lol. I will never have another one thats for sure. Im just saying to those who feel this way do not have a baby your feelings about them will not change. I love my baby but dont like her and prob wont till shes a toddler. 😦 feel terrible.

  25. Love this post and comments, but what I REALLY want to talk about is this weird parallel between not finding babies cute and not finding Brad Pitt hot. I’m in the same boat on both and wonder if there’s a scientific basis for this πŸ™‚

    PS. @marilyn your writing is charming and just gorgeous…loved your comment and style!

  26. It’s nice to finally know I’m not the only one!! I try to avoid situations where it is expected to say “ohh, how cute!!” because I don’t care enough to fake interest, which makes the situation that much more awkward. Never have I thought a baby human was cute. Maybe a toddler here or there, but never, and I mean never a human. I love baby animals. They make my heart melt. I could look at photos of baby animals all day, but I cringe the moment a new mom pulls out her cell phone to show me 50 pictures (which all look the same to me) of their new child.

    It also really annoys me when people put baby pictures as their Facebook profile pic. It’s YOUR Facebook, it’s supposed to be a picture of YOU.

    PS – I just read the comment above me and laughed. I have never, not even for a moment, thought Brad Pitt was hot.

  27. Thanks for all the comments! Really interesting hearing different takes on the ‘cute baby’ thing.

    Yeah, Angelina can keep Brad. Robert Downey Jr on the other hand… *swoons*

  28. Just another Googler here who searched “babies are not cute” and found this blog. I feel so relieved to learn I’m not just some unfeeling space alien for not having ANY attraction whatsoever to baby people. Like others have said, baby animals of literally any kind (baby birds, fish, reptiles, mammals, etc.) are all so darn cute, but humans? Not. At. All.

    I got a good laugh out of others’ experiences with coworkers and friends and family showing you their “cutest baby in the world” and the expectation of gushing in some form. At work, I try to look busy and let the ladies do all that until the parent leaves. (I’m a 30-year-old guy.)

  29. Though I completely agree that the Anne Geddes pictures are just straight up creepy, I love me some cute babies. However, the believe that “all babies are cute” is just an absurd lie. I don’t necessarily want my Facebook timeline full of baby pictures, but I don’t really want a timeline full of selfies either. LoL

  30. Another googler here. Sooo glad to find that other people feel like me. I don’t feel maternal at all and I’ve always wondered whether there is something wrong with me. Babies just don’t do it for me…I don’t see what anyone sees in them. They’re just another person. But puppies? Don’t get me started!!

  31. Nice to see there is a place on the internet for social misanthropes like myself, at least when it comes to…-babies-. I don’t like them, definitely do NOT EVER want to hold them. And yet, people I know have this strange idea in their head that I am great with kids, that I would make a great father. Lies. I would make a terrible father. I don’t like children, and I don’t like their parents who constantly try to push them on me. I LOVE baby animals, think they’re the cutest damned things on Earth. Not baby humans, especially when you consider the rapacious, capricious, hateful, maladjusted, raging sociopaths they are fated to grow up to be.

  32. Google brought me here! I’m Swedish but I couldn’t get anything by searching in my own language…

    I’m so glad I’m not the only one who feels this way! Baby animals often bring tears to my eyes because of their cuteness! They are so small and innocent <3! Seeing a human baby just leaves me with an uncomfortable, slighly repulsed feeling. When others go all crazy over babies I feel like an alien since I just don't get it. I don't understand what they see that I don't?

    I'm now 27 and have absolutely no desire of having kids. And I definitely don't want to go through a pregnancy and give birth. The horror. Why would anyone do that to themselves? As I've told my boyfriend: if he want kids then he can carry it for 9 months and squeeze it out, because I'm not gonna. I like the idea of teaching someone about life and giving advice and so on, and it makes me kind of sad to think I might not get to do that. But at the same time I don't think it would be worth all the pain and work. I don't know. I've been thinking I might adopt ONE kid some day, but I guess time will tell…

    As to the Brad Pitt theory, I find him very attractive in his older movies (Meet Joe Black for instance), so I'm sorry to disappoint :p! (However I don't think he's hot at his current age so idunno?).

  33. Yes.
    Just yes.
    OMG FINALLY. I thought I was the only one who despised human infants. Like the majority of u ppl I would prefer animal infants (puppies, kittens, etc) Kittens are just flippin ADORABLE!! β™₯β™₯β™₯ There are infinitely many reasons why I hate human babies, but the main reason is who they’ll grow up to become. For example, a most wanted terrorist or somethin was once that god awful, smelly product that made guillable people go “Aww!”. Now they’re all like “finish him/her”.
    I’m never having kids. Not ever.
    And I’ve read most of these posts and one of them I freakin agree with. Yes, there are too many people on this earth. We don’t need anymore uncute babies (but it keeps happening).
    Animal babies are just more cuter and not all of them look the same (like kittens– they all don’t have the same looks). But human infants ALL LOOK THE SAME… except for different skim tone race.
    Guys… u made my day… *whispers* I finally found my people! *tears in eyes*

  34. I also don’t like babies or Brad Pitt. There have to be something to it. Lol πŸ˜€
    No, really – all my friends have been drooling for him but I’ve never thought he’s something special.

  35. Thank the universe I’m not alone and found this topic. Especially now at 30 when I have found my perfect match he is so hellbent on me being atleast open to the idea if having them especially since one of his family members just had one and everyone is gushing. I don’t know why but I’ve never thought babies were cute, in fact they are either freaky alien foetus looking things or miniature fat bald men looking things and were never appealing in the least bit to me. Even some of my friends with kids say it is effing hard and not for everyone…atleast not everyone sugarcoats it even as parents. I get so disgusted how society likes to act like it’s all peachy and beautiful when in fact it makes women feel unattractive, they are sleep deprived, worn out and haven’t had time to look after themselves ad so many of them become shadows of their former selves just because they want to give the kid a good upbringing but the kid grows up to be a total self entitled brat. It’s funny how kids with harder lives end up with the best characters and most humble dispositions. I think so,e adversity is beneficial for a child, seems nowadays kids are just a slap in the face and don’t appreciate anything.

    I also feel so isolated that I am a woman and I don’t share this awwwwwww that baby is sooooo beautiful and gorgeous..are you effing kidding me?! Humans have the ugliest offspring, even the most weirdest looking animal will have cuter offspring. I gush over puppies, kittens ducklings, even baby crocodiles are cuter than baby humans. The more a plethora of women around me go nuts over how precious a baby is the more I feel alienated like I’m totally not normal or just missing some female chemical in my body?! So can you believe my near perfect and healthy relationship has now had major arguments over this baby thing,…I am perfectly happy to never have a child and that’s the way I wanted it. However it’s devastated my other half and now I feel guilty for something I cannot help but feel so strongly about. I don’t see the benefit to children at all, I am so happy with my life as it is and I live for my own happiness which does not depend on breeding…I like my sleep, my freedom and to me babies and children are not worth the stress and the negatives definitely outweigh the benefits and I think parents just lie to themselves about the reality.

    To me society has conditioned most people to think they need children, yet why wasn’t I affected? My other half thinks life has no meaning or purpose without them. To me life is about happiness, experience and knowing what you want which most people don’t or only think I do, I’ve always known myself. I don’t need to eat shit to know I won’t like it.
    I’ve never wanted one and the older I get the more I abhore the idea.

    I feel so abnormal because most women are the complete opposite of me….I don’t know any female that shares my feelings on this! 😦 I also speak from experience and have taken care of a lot of babies and children and although I’m very good with them, it’s not the kind of life that appeals to me, they are more of a handful then not and the cons definitely outweigh the pros and the more I’ve experienced taking care of them the more I’ve realised it’s really difficult and not only does it have a toll on your life but also it can ruin your intimacy and bond with your partner despite all that bullshit about brining parents together, open your eyes! Your sexlife and intimacy goes out the door and then you’ll need to bloody book eachother if you’re lucky once a month for probably a mediocre 5 minute quickie. Then back to cleaning up shit and urine with incessant attention starved little humans who have no regard for your existence. πŸ™‚

    it’s funny because I’m a naturally happy and positive person and know I’ll be happy as long as I don’t have them but the thought of having them upsets me lol, then my sweetheart and I argue about it. It’s the only thing we are divided on but it’s a major thing. I have said many times to him if his happiness depends on spawning then to look elsewhere but he loves me and wants to only have it with me, another reason why I feel badly because he’s almost heartbroken over this.

    Just because I have a womb doesn’t mean I have to breed. I also like my body and my stress free life with freedom and sleep πŸ™‚

  36. Also one more thing, I love love loooove animals because there is so much proof they are often selfless and dogs/cats can be the most empathetic creatures on earth even more than humans (studies provide)…they love you genuinely and to me have better personalities and souls than any baby or child can have. They live to love and be loved ❀ and won't change and will be at your side til they leave this earth and will be happy no matter how little they have as long as they are with you. We'll your little human baby won't give a rats ass and demand demand demand and who knows how it will turn out later on, most of the time they are unappreciative selfish beings who grow up to be anything you have no control of, it's a gamble, Caesar Milan even says animals are predictable, children are not.

  37. You’re not alone! I – and I think all the other commenters on this post – want to give you a huge hug πŸ™‚

  38. Wow, Thank you for having this blog. I was starting to wonder if there was something wrong with me. I’ve never played with dolls (except barbies who are adults). I think baby animals of all kinds are the cutest things on the earth, but not babies. I always feel so awkward when my co-worker brings hers in and everyone starts going crazy over it. I feel like I’m an alien from another planet or something. Now I don’t feel so bad, I can stop all the pretending. I agree with earlier posts, why do we need more kids anyway? There are plenty out there. Also if you want to make a difference in a kids life with a smaller time commitment there are tons of organizations out there where you can volunteer your time with children. Or adopt, or babysit for a neighbor. Also I’ve never been interested in Brad Pitt. The only thing that’s been able to make me uncontrollably melt is Tom Hiddleston. I suggest you all look him up.

  39. Googled my aversion for babies (and especially for people WITH babies) and found this. Bless that post. Like, seriously, I am not alone! You people made my day. All my life I’ve been thinking I was doomed to be some kind of no-thank-you-I-dont-like-babies-and-dont-want-one-ever paria and would just have to deal with everyone thinking I am selfish because I don’t feel like reproducing. I don’t think maternity, pregnancy and babies are cool or cute or whatever, and I have been told for many years that there was something wrong with me, or that I will change eventually – which I haven’t. It even made me feel miserable to be honest. Everything related to raising a child sounds horrid to me, from pregnancy to sleepless nights and teenage crisis. Why would anyone want to do that??
    My theory is that humans, like parasitic cells, aim to infinite reproduction. Well, I guess I am some dysfunctional cell.
    PS: I don’t think Brad Pitt is handsome.

  40. I am not a 30-something, in fact just had my 64th birthday. But I have never had kids and never found them particularly cute. Some are very pretty with nice rosy skin and huge eyes. But my appreciation of that small amount of cuteness does not cancel out my full awareness that they are in fact full human beings and will become a nasty SOB soon enough like any other human, probably by first grade when they form cliques and investigate if being a bully on the playground is a worthwhile venture. I guess as an only child myself that I developed self awareness at an early age. Knew my own flawed character and could see the already complex screwy psychology of my peers, even in grammer school. Kids lack the innocence of cute animals once they are past toddlerhood. I, in fact, never liked it when adults cooed at me that I was so cute. It was patronizing and insulting to me. I think that we who are admitting to our realistic vision of children actually like them MORE than those who ooh and aah because we respect the full human being inside of that cute package. We don’t think of them as little blobs of cute clay that can easily be envisioned and molded into a perfect (and dumb gullible) human being.

  41. I NEED HELP…I’ve had a thing with that for a while…OK, I may only be 15 years of age, but most of my friends think babies are gorgeous and sweet and perfect and etc. blablabla…I mean, I love kids-they’re fun, sweet and little (even anthough they can be quite rude at times, with or beyond realisation)…However, whenever I see a baby I just cannot sincerely go ‘AWWW’…I CAN’T! I have a 3 year old niece…She’s beautiful, but I find it difficult to talk with her… I don’t know, it’s like I’m afraid I might do something wrong or say something at the wrong place and time (while her mom is around I feel like I can’t even get near her)…Anyways, I need help! I can’t talk to my folks about it either- They are exactly the gooing awww-type of people, when it comes to babies….I’m afraid I wouldn’t make a sufficiently good mom one day, because I can’t seem to feel anything special when I see a baby….Does that make me a bad person, cuz it sure makes me feel like one! Is it a mistake in my upbringing, am I too selfish (I’m the baby of the family…Ever since I can remember myself my family has always doted on me, I never got why…But I used to always get super jealous when I saw my mom gooing at other babies…I hated babies when was little, I thought they were attracting all the attention on purpose by using their puppy faces and so forth….Now I know they deserve all the attention, but I still can’t see the cuteness…)…Despite all that I feel a desire to have a kid on my own one day, I couldn’t live without that! I’m sure I would love my child more than life itself! But why can’t I adore babies as much as I adore animals….And then again, I love animals, all I can see in them is cuteness and innocence….When I look at babies, however, I can’t help but think about how one day they shall grow up and be one of us and about how I MUST act like I love that so that other people wont think of me as a heartless biotch…I find it hard, though…..I have a certain amount of fondness for them too, but it doesn’t make me not stand a second around them without cuddling them….It’s an awkward feeling for me…AND I REALLY WANT TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT! I WANNA BE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE…Otherwise I feel like an alien when we attend a baby’s bday party or something like that….Sometimes I just stare at a baby pic and try to seek out something cute, anything..Sometimes it takes me to the point where I start imagining it’s a kitten or a puppy so Γ­t’ll be easier to say ‘AWWW’ as well as to end up with that stupid smile everyone pulls off around babies….Why is it so hard, why can’t I just be normal and marvel at them as I should….They’re small, chubby and innocent….What is it that makes you guys go all so ‘awww look at it’ about it….Help me, I’ve been struggling with that for a while…

  42. To Katie: Hey, None of us here go “Aww look” when we see a baby. Did you read the blog entry and the comments?
    In any case: There is nothing wrong with you, and you don’t have to fix anything. You can’t help how you feel, it is what it is. I get the impression that you feel bad about this because babies are a big deal in your family and among your friends? It’s only natural you’d feel bad and alien when you’re bombarded with “oh look at this baby isn’t he cute?” all the time. I think you should really sit down and think, try to figure out why you feel the way you do. Where does this need to love babies come from? Is it coming from you, or is it coming from you family and friends (i.e. peer pressure)?
    I know it’s hard to not feel the love for kids when so many people do love them. You feel left out, confused, annoyed. But it’s okay to be different. All people (yes all!) are different and unconventional in some way, we don’t all have to be the same (and it would be incredibly boring if we were).

  43. Hey, i’m so happy that i found this writing and read all the comments telling almost exactly how i feel. the same lack of this overhyped babycentric vision. As far as i can remember i couldn’t see the cuteness in babies of strangers or family members’ kids. The idea of pregnancy and giving birth seems unhealthy enough and all the 9 months of putting your body to such a huge danger to get another human who will torture you first with not letting you sleep, live your life, having to give up all that you built, putting also your partner to a triple stressed life situation. After that you can constantly run after the kid to protect it from everything, even itself. And so if thats over you have a teenagee human beeing with all the hate and drama, of course hurting you again. Maybe if youre lucky by 25 theyll be grown up enough to be thankful and caring. Cant see the point of it. On the other hand you can have animals, getting all the love of the world, not having to give up half of your life.

  44. Well hello there! May I chime in? I, too, found this blog after googling “Babies are not cute” and it’s good to see people are still commenting 5 years after the article was written. I’m a 36 year-old single woman from Europe and I’ve never found babies attractive. I even hosted a childfree forum for 10 years, so that should sum up how I feel about procreating. Every time I see someone post a photo or video of a “cute” baby/child somewhere, I just find myself going “how about no?” and wondering if I’m alone in how I feel about human children. Kittens, tough…. *swoon*! Most baby animals make me weak in the knees and I’m not at all ashamed of having 4 cats. Anyway, I’m hoping to find a nice guy some day, who doesn’t already have children and doesn’t want any. That’d be nice.

    P.S. I do find Brad kind of attractive, but I’m also not swooning.

  45. Have you ever thought that noone else really likes them either, and everyone is just pretending? I have…

  46. I too dislike children. Some say I am selfish but I don’t care. I do not find my neices or nephews adorable. I do not find other peoples kids adorable. I do not like children, they get on my nerves. I may sound like a curmudgeon but I am a 36 year old woman who loves her alone time. The world does not need anymore kids.

  47. Came here because I’m pregnant but don’t think babies are cute AT ALL! Kittens and puppies all the way! I’ve never seen it. I guess I’ll like mine?! I prefer when they’re a bit older – but even then I’d rather have an animal.

    I think having kids is selfish and yes I know I’m doing it! I’m having it for me and my partner. The world is overpopulated as it is!

    So glad I’m not alone. Even my husband thinks I’m missing something!

    I do fancy Brad Pitt though πŸ˜‰

  48. Hurrah! So happy to have stumble upon this after googling “do women have babies because they find them cute?”, I think I’ve just seen one too many babies on my Facebook news feed tonight and ya know- seen one seen them all! Refreshing to read the comments many of which I completely relate too! Agree with the hypotheses that there is some link between finding babies and Brad Pitt far from adorable πŸ˜€

  49. WoW! So happy I found this blog entry. My boss just showed me a picture of her nephew and of course I had to coo “He’s so cute!” Um…NO! I always have preferred animals to humans, and babies are just kind of useless humans. I don’t plan on having kids (no more secure way to ensure you have less freedom, fun and money); the world’s overpopulated anyhow. I’m glad to know that other people feel this way even after many years have passed or even after having a child of their own. My husband freaked me out the other day by pointing out a toddler looking cute in a hat – get that idea out of your head, sir! I’m a 34 year old woman, always prefered stuffed animals to dolls, pets to people. And yes, I think *having* a child is selfish! No one ever states their reasons for having a kid without saying ” I WANT” Hm… Pretty egotistical to create life just so you can teach someone life lessons…because we all know how awesomely wise most poeple are!

  50. Its not selfish to not want kids, it is selfless to decide not to have children. Humans have offered only destruction onto the natural world, we do not need more of this, nor human beings. Kids are never your possession. Kids grow, into people, people we admire, we despise, people who inspire, people who drain. If you really love kids, then the selfless task of fostering or adoption would be a serious consideration. Oh, but they are not your DNA are they? They are not a mini you? Who is selfish now?

  51. I don’t like babies, PERIOD. Ugly, fat, loud, terrible. When someone is like “Oh, how cute!” Isn’t it adorable?” I want to retch, spit at the picture, and say “No!” But instead I just nod. Baby animals? GIVE IT TO ME RIGHT NOW. MY BABY ANIMAL. MINE.

  52. Just found this post as I also feel the same! Put me in a room full of baby animals and I will happily clean up their poop and take care of them! Babies are not in the least bit attractive to me. I don’t understand how they can be called ‘cute’. My boyfriend has always agreed with me about not wanting kids until recently which is putting a massive strain on our relationship 😟 we are both 31. I just can’t believe he has changed his mind about it! I want to grow old with this man but if he decided that kids are a definite for him (he doesn’t seem 100% set on the idea at the moment) then I guess I would have to let him go find another woman to procreate with! It would totally break my heart but I don’t think I could bring a baby into the world. I love my nephews (7yr, 4yr and 1yr olds) but I only held them once each when they were newborns. I never felt a pang to have one of my own. I didn’t think they were cute and still find the noise and mess too much to cope with. Give me a baby animal anytime!!! X

  53. I think the same. Babies are selfish little crying tantrum machines. Every time I go to a store, I always walk past the toy aisle and there is 20 to 30 percent of the time a toddler crying and screaming for a worthless piece of plastic. I also think that they are curled up ugly pooping machines.
    Ahhhh, it feels good to let that out.

  54. I thought I was a weird person. Everyone here in India is fascinated by arranged marriages and having kids but I cannot digest both concepts. I find it difficult to understand the fascination. But animal? I just go crazy. I am so attracted to pet and stray animals….today i didn’t watch the road while crossing and almost got hit by a vehicle because I was looking at a stray dog and a pet dog on a walk across the road.

    One common trend I noticed is that people on these kind of blogs like almost all animals but aren’t attracted to babies. Not sure why though.

  55. I am with you people!
    Don’t think babies are cute.
    But little animals…so cuuuuuuuuute!
    And don’t want have babies either.
    I’m allergic to cats but think they’re so cute and dogs I love and always will have them

  56. So yea I googled I don’t find babies cute is there something wrong with me lol. Glad I found this blog. I don’t feel quite as alone.
    Sooooo don’t want kids and I don’t find them cute at all. Show me baby animals and I’m in love! I’m almost 37 and have now been married for 2 months now. I almost regret getting married because now everyone is like so when are you going to have babies? My inlaws are the worst. My husband is the only child on his mother’s side but his dad has two daughters from a previous marriage. The daughter’s have 4 kids between them. That is not enough for the inlaws. Not to mention that the 4 grandchildren from the FIL’s daughters are getting older and not as much fun I guess. They range in age from about 8-18. So they are out of the fun stage for the inlaws. MIL actually went to my husband crying because she fears she won’t have any blood grandchildren of her own and we’re going to miss out on having kids. Sadly, I think my husband is slowly moving towards wanting to have a baby just to appease his parents. While before we were married he did not want them either.

    I sometimes feel like I can’t wait until I really am too old to have them so there are not any accidents. I feel like it affects our intimacy because all I can think about is accidently getting preganant eventhough we take double precautions. I just don’t even want to be intimate for the most part because of the fear.

    The whole baby thing from pregnancy all they way through to adulthood just freaks me out. I feel our lives would be over because by the time the kid is old enough to make it on thier own we’ll be old as dirt and not be able to enjoy anytime that we have left. I mean kids are not usually independent of thier parents these days until 25 if you’re lucky. I feel like I would rather not have kids and take the money and time to travel and enjoy OUR lives.

    I get so nervous around other people who have babies. I so worried they are going to ask me to hold them. Eck! So many germs! I feel like babies are going to puke, poop or some kind of gross stuff come out of thier bodies at any moment.

  57. having kids vs not having kids
    a lot of people will tell you that not having kids is selfish. you should NOT think of yourself, not think of the free time, money, freedom etc and have a kid, weather you want to or not. and ONLY after having a kid, should you worry about loving it, and actually get used to how the kid actually ruined your life!! people look at you different if they find out that you actually do NOT like kids and the thought of having one makes your skin crawl. according to these people, you should ignore all these feelings, and have a kid as an experiment!
    i say BULLOCKS to these people!! not having a kid, it not selfish, it is having a kid that is selfish! think about it, why do people have kids? because THEY want them. they want to play with them, cuddle them, love them, and they want kids to love them, because it makes them feel happy! never is a kid given a choice by us or by God, about wether it actaully wants to come into this miserable world or not. all kids are brought into the world by the selfish desires of parents who only want to improve their own lives. and yet these people have the balls to tell us (the not wanting a kid type of people) that we are the selfish ones! talk about hypocracy!!
    if we think about it, we bring the little devils into this world(mostly because we think they are cute) play with them, support them for 18 years, then leave them to fend for themselves in this jungle we call the world. and they return the favour to their parents in old age by sending them off to old age homes, so that they can repeat this endless, ruthless cycle!!
    if someone wants to break from this never ending circle of life, he is branded a selfish jerk by society, friends and family alike! it makes my blood boil!! moreover, when people do have these little devil like creatures, with shit coming out of their pampers, they tend to show them off to everyone like they have won the lottery or something. they expect us lesser mortals to appreciate their kids as much as they do. otherwise, ofcourse, we are branded as selfish! if the newly crowned parents visit a friends or a relativs house, they always bring their kids along, and all they can talk about is what the little person is doing or what he/she has done!!
    get a grip guys, we dont give a damn if you have somehow produced a little human, purely for your own pleasure, by imitating the oldest recreational procedure known to mankind!!

  58. LOVE this blog! Totally mirrors my experience too – I’ve always disliked children, even when I was a child! I decided at the age of 6 that I would never have children, much to the amusement of the adults in my life. At 16, I asked my doctor for a hysterectomy because I didn’t see the point of going through all that monthly nonsense for no reason and he just laughed at me and prescribed the pill. (although I did find out in later years that this would definitely not have been a good idea due to other complications it can cause). In any event, here I am at age 48, happily married and childless. I too, would rather spend money, time and energy on myself and my marriage than on children because they do end up taking over your life. And weirdly enough, all the childless couples we know are still married, whereas the ones with kids are mostly divorced. And like some of the other comments, we also treasure animals over babies; I melt into a puddle at the sight of a kitten. The only regret I have is that since I am an only child, my mother will never have grandchildren; she’s never judged me or said anything about it (bless her), but I know it makes her sad as her 2 sisters have a plethora of grandkids to brag about. My mom got “grand-cats/dogs/ rats/birds”. But yikes – babies and children just leave me feeling cold!

  59. Oh, forgot to mention the germophobia! Kids are definitely little germ-factories – so many people at work get sick from their kids – ugh. Although I have no problem picking up dog-poop or cleaning litter-boxes and hair-balls; doesn’t bother me in the least. But when it comes to kids, I just want to run away screaming and bathe in hand-sanitizer 😦

  60. I also don’t find babies cute. I find baby animals to be adorable, from reptiles to baby elephants. Scientists say the reason we find other animals babies cute is because they remind us of our own. I think that’s not the case, I go crazy over adorable puppies, even ugly ones! But when it comes to babies, when they’re ugly, oh BOY are they ugly. I’ve never seen a baby that won me over for how cute it was, I find 1.5+ year olds way cuter. They tend to have DEVELOPED and well proportioned bodies by this point and tend to be way cuter than their infant form. My sister like the rest of them looked like an alien after birth, but about 2 years later she looked adorable!
    When I look at pictures of myself as a baby I still think I looked like a little mutant, but all of the females who raised me (My mom, aunts and grandma) always respond with calling me crazy because I was clearly an adorable and obese baby. I still don’t see it unfortunately. It was when I had aged I saw the appeal of my younger form.

  61. I am absolutely with you on this!

    When I was younger my friends use and I used to joke about not wanting kids and now, even thy want kids! Im still not particularly fond of them but absolutely adore animals.

  62. Ok, I need to rant a bit, but the perception of child-free adults being selfish REALLY infuriates me. There is absolutely nothing selfish about choosing to not have children! In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Let’s look at some common reasons why humans have children:
    1) “Mini Me” syndrome. People who think that simply passing on their genes will make the world a better place. How arrogant and delusional is that? There’s nothing selfless about their motivation because it’s all about them. These are the types who will want every compliment their child receives to be directly related to them, because gosh darn it, those kids could never be so great if it weren’t for our amazing genes, right?

    2) People who think they’ve all all the answers to life’s mysteries, so surely they must bear children as a gift to the well-being of the planet. Ok, this is similar to reason 1 except in these cases it’s more about what the parents think they can teach. Because they’re just SO different, and SO profound, that without them, and their gift of wisdom-infused children, our planet might as well kiss its ass goodbye. The reality here is that despite what looks like a selfless effort to better the planet, these people are just narcissists who are looking to impose their world vision onto the young, impressionable minds of their kids. Who’s to say the parents are good, kind beings? If they wanted to be altruistic, why wouldn’t they volunteer, teach or adopt? There are plenty of receptive minds out there, but not with their genes! Enough said.

    3) Financial gain and security. Child-centric societies are obviously unhealthy, and many just milk the “benefits” of this. Why have morals or values when you can get a fatass paycheque from the government by spitting out kids with whoever’s willing to provide the sperm? Do child-free adults get any financial perks? Hell no. Yet the choice to refrain from having kids remains, despite societal burdens. Sure, it’s expensive to raise kids, blah blah blah (if they’re being raised by parents with no concept of budgeting because they don’t have to work for their handouts, of course!) But guess what else is expensive? Being an adult with a middle class income who is forced to pay more taxes to compensate someone else’s poor decisions.
    To add to this one, some women will have kids to “keep a man”. That way, even when shit hits the fan, he’s strapped with unrealistic child support bills and she’s financially covered. Naw, that doesn’t seem selfish at all!

    4) Social acceptance. How is it NOT selfish to do something only because it makes you “fit in” or “belong”? Too many people have kids because of pressure from equally selfish parents who want their adult children to be perceived as “normal” by society’s standards. Yes, it’s sad, and mental illness is rampant, but holy fuck, would things be this bad if we had values that went beyond fitting into some twisted social norms? Should people have kids because it’s the “cool” thing to do, despite their own values and personal wants? Allowing oneself to do something solely based on how others will perceive their image is the definition of shallow – and selfish.
    My husband and I actually know a couple who have kids and they’re miserable – she wanted them, he wanted marriage without them. But he went along with her wants, while ignoring his, and now their marriage is fucked. He thinks he was being kind by agreeing to have kids, and now is just starting to realize how selfish he actually was by not being honest with his wife about his feelings in order to get a ring on her finger. Now their children get to grow up with a blatantly resentful father and a mother who wants to be their best friend. Way to go, peeps!

    5) “But who will care for me when I’m old?” Right. You changed their diapers, and you want them to change yours, if that time comes, rather than relying on a nursing home. Sad news: you can’t decide whether your kids will be willing to move you in to their granny suite, or whether they’ll even have a granny suite. Selfish thinking either way.

    6) Legacy-related crap. Nobody cares anymore. There are so many people in the world that even if your name is passed on, chances are there are several others with that same name and nobody will know the difference. Unfortunately, because of another twisted concept (the woman automatically taking the man’s name in marriage), there are still female infants being murdered or abandoned in the name of, well, a name. If a person is willing to 1) have kids just to pass a name down and 2) kill a baby for not possessing the “correct” genitalia to keep a surname intact, there is a level of selfishness going on that is clearly beyond wrong.

    7) “Oops I’m pregnant”…so you got drunk in a bar and had sex with some random human, and either the birth control didn’t work or wasn’t there in the first place. Either way, having a kid for selfish reasons: because you were wasted and horny and your judgement was clouded.

    And the list goes on…..

    I am of the belief that many, many people actually don’t want kids, or do want them but for the wrong reasons, and misery loves company, so they push their resulting lifestyles on others as being the norm.

    Many of those prematurely aging, worn out, drained, malnourished, sloppy, overwhelmed, identity-lacking “happy” parents out there are likely looking back at the good old days when they still had freedom with quiet resentment, because society tends to frown upon anyone who regrets having children. Those same parents likely envy the freedom and lifestyle of those who so “selfishly” choose not to have kids, and instead of admitting their envy, would rather peg child-free parents as selfish in order to feel better about themselves.

  63. There’s also the whole “have kids because that’s just what you do” idea. Where’s the substance in that kind of thinking? I can’t imagine doing something like that “just because”. But because some of us are easily brainwashed, we who think outside the box are chastised or seen as “freaks”. Look at how many comments on here are from people who feel like they’re alone, or lacking some “gene”, or wondering if there’s something wrong with them? (despite the title of the thread and numerous comments proving otherwise!). People need to stop pretending to be something they are not, just to fit in and be accepted! That’s what enough people in our society are doing already, whether their view is approving of kids or not, and the more honest we can be, the more we’ll realize that we’re not so alone after all.

    I also want to add that I don’t think all reasons for wanting kids are selfish, and that there are some great parents out there who just genuinely love doing what they do. That’s great! But those who imply that child-free adults are somehow selfish are themselves some of the most selfish people around, hence my detailed rant πŸ˜›

  64. Hi. I don’t like baby humans. I’m 41 and never played being a mom with my dolls. I played the doctor, teacher, etc. but my dolls were never my sons. I’ve never felt the “oooh” feeling most people experience in front of a new born, not even those of my own family. I know I’ve not felit it at all because I strongly feel it with all kinds of baby animals from little spiders up to all forms of mammals, so I know exactly how it should feel. If any, a human baby brings me a slight repulsion. I don’t fake an “oooh” when someone shows me a picture of her new grandson/niece/etc. but I quite understand why a lot of people like us feel like forcing out a fake “oooh” when facing a similar situation. Yeah, I pass as a rude person but that’s me. On the bright side, those people don’t show me their pics anymore.

    I know if I liked children, I’d have my own by now despite the enduring responsibilities they bring into the parent’s lives. But no. I don’t like them at all. There’s not A SINGLE facet of motherhood that appeals to me. Not a single one. In contrast, besides me not liking babies and all their paraphernalia, I wouldn’t like at all to give all my energies, money and future to another human being. I do give, with a happy commitment, a lot of my money and energy to my cats which I rescued from the street but somehow don’t feel comfortable at all with the thought of having to do it for a baby. Perhaps it’s because cats were in the street unwillingly being given birth by their innocent mom cats and remain innocent for the rest of their lives, whereas a human kid is put on Eart on free will from either one of the parents or both (well, most of the time, sadly it’s not always the case) and the kid himself will grow up to be another brick in the wall nonetheless.

    I’m very comforted in knowing there are 60+ women in this thread claiming to be child-free and happy. I want to be like them if I am lucky enough to reach that age.

    For the statistics: Brad Pitt is not my type either!

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